ISPOMGBBQ

My boyfriend said something to me recently that got me thinking just a little bit. He said, "I love surprises, but I hate anticipation." He was referring to the fact that, as a planner, I occasionally hint at the fact that a surprise is coming, but let his imagination fill in the blanks. To be rather frankly honest, I enjoy doing such things.

However, today I find myself on the other side of things, waiting in anticipation for information that I desire. The International Service Project team reveal is tomorrow and I want to know where I'm going. Part of it is so that I can figure out if I'll be able to go to a friend's wedding or if there's a chance I'll miss it entirely. Part of it is so that I will have the satisfaction of knowing where it is that I'm heading.

The ISP program is something that is really important to me. I have a lifelong goal to work in the same type of capacity on a permanent, career basis. Still, this biting of the nails is going to drive me slowly insane. The worst part of it is that it's a three hour meeting and they don't tell you your destination until the end of the night.

Despite this, I am excited. I may join old team members for another adventure. I will be going to a brand new country. And I will be serving the coolest, most amazing God that mankind has ever had the privilage of worshipping.

Summer drabble

So I remembered this little drabble that I worked on a little while ago. I'm still not sure if I'm going to expound on it at all, but hey. It's fun and kind of random.

*******

She could feel her skin slowly start to burn as she moved down the street under July’s hot sun. Sweat beaded on her forehead only to drip down into narrowed eyes. She wished for something to shield her from the heat- a tube of sunscreen, some shade, even an umbrella. The press of a cold, twelve ounce can against the back of her neck caused her to jump. A man laughed, breaking the self-imposed silence that buzzed in her ears. Suddenly, she could hear it again- the hum of conversations, the toll of bells that was children’s laughter, and the many sounds of machinery that made this fair run like one smoothly oiled engine rather than several parts of chaos.

She reached for the soda and the light caught her eye, causing a wince. Blue eyes glanced back up, this time from a slightly different angle. The man looked as well. There were no bright colors to this tent. No carnie beckoned outside, no hawker of wares, nothing showed the reason for this dark tent beyond a simple sign pinned to the entrance. “We’ve been waiting for you,” it said in its simple block letters. “Come to see what we have for you.”

A shift of bodies. She pressed closer to the man, unconsciously, even as he put an arm around her. At the same time, they both felt the draw, the pull of this possibly wondrous place.

Passed Props Pose Problems

I love alliterations.

So I haven't taken a huge look at the results of the recent election. I was pretty resigned to the fact that I wouldn't be too terribly happy with either president. I couldn't really care about the representatives for the state or anything along that line. What really held my interest were two propositions- Props 4 and 8.

Prop 4, as you may know, was the proposed law to require that abortion agencies inform parents prior to conducting an abortion for a minor. It did not pass. Frankly, this upsets me on two levels- intellectual and spiritual. On the spiritual level, I am fully pro-life and feel that once a child is conceived, it has life. Speaking as a woman who is at a very high risk of being infertile, I wish that there were more emphasis on adoption in these situations. On an intellectual level, it infuriates me that parents get angry over a child receiving an asprin without their permission but allow invasive surgery to be conducted, a surgery that has many complications and both emotional and mental scarring. What type of twisted world do we live in where that makes sense?

I understand that there are girls out there who make mistakes, end up pregnant, and could be hurt by a parent if they came out and said that they were pregnant. Still, wouldn't it be much more positive and proactive if we developed a way to facilitate the informing of parents that would keep the girl safe?

Prop 8. It's so loaded. I do not feel that God supports and blesses same sex relationships. However, I do not believe that it is a disease or a defect that should be "healed" or whatever it is that people believe should be happening to those who are gay. I did not support nor did I vote for Prop 8 and that is because I feel that by it passing, it just brings about another step of discrimination against these people who are in despirate need of God's love.

Now, there are gay Christians. I work with an organization called the Gay Christian Network. Their website can be found at http://www.gaychristian.net/ and you can see what their ministry entails. I support what they call Side B- those who identify and embrace their sexuality rather than try to change it, but still remain celibate and abstain from same-sex relationships. It is my dream, my very bold dream, that one day, churches will be welcoming people into their congregations and rather than promoting the ex-gay ministries, they advocate a Side B approach. It is my dream that every gay and lesbian that I come across will not feel like they are second-rate in society's eyes, in my eyes, in the church's eyes, nor in God's eyes.

Prop 8 just serves to lower these people. How can we call ourselves Christians if we reject a group of people based on one item that makes up part of who they are? We were not sent out to reach out to the whole, but to the broken.

I'm so glad that I don't plan on living in California for long.

No Props for Prop 8- Part 2

Last night was Halloween. As you can guess, I saw a lot of things that I don't typically see. After all, I was dressed as a witch. How often do you see a pirate, a sniper, a witch, a princess, and Master Chief wandering down a sidewalk together?

What really bothered me, though, was how many people I saw carrying around Yes/No on Prop 8 signs. (No, they didn't say both options- I just saw both types of sign.) It's Halloween- a time for fun and frivolity, not for political statements.

What really concerns me about this proposition is the potential ramifications that such a proposition may have on the GLBT community and the huge rift that is there between the Christian church as a whole and the community itself. You see, many churches react badly to a member of the church coming out of the closet. They demand that the person either leave the church or try to change who they are, go through things called ex-gay ministries. I'm not going to reference any specific ones here, because I think they're really more damaging than they benefit people. It's rare to have success stories that really last a lifetime, that don't leave the person damaged. Besides, a straight person wouldn't ever be forced to become gay, would they? Of course not. That's their nature.

The problem is that people assume that by identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, you are automatically sinning. However, it is not until one actually acts on such an urge that a sin is being transgressed. I am in full support of those who identify as gay Christians and also identify as celebate as far as their homosexual urges go. I feel that by such a blatant refusal to give the GLBT community something that they've asked, to exclude them from something so important in our society, just brings more discrimination against them. Here's the kicker- A person who is gay is no different from you or me.

If the church could get to that point and deal with the issue of sin without condemning the person, what a revolution could be had!

No Props for Prop 8- Part 1

I've been debating with myself about if I should talk about this issue or not. Then there was the fact that if I talk about this issue, I need to decide just how much I'm willing to talk about myself. I think I've got the courage right now to talk about Prop 8 simply because my brain is all fuzzy from the drugs I have to take for the pain I've been having. Still, we're talking about it.



As many of you know, Prop 8 is the proposition to amend the California consitution to state that marriage is between a man and a woman. That's all. The Yes on Prop 8 website (http://whatisprop8.com/) leads one to believe that the very act of Prop 8 not going through would be enough to have the following six consequences:

1. Children in schools will be taught about same-sex marriages.
2. Churches can get sued for refusing to perform same-sex marriages.
3. Religious adoption agencies will be challenged to put children into same-sex homes.
4. Religious schools with married housing will be forced to provide housing for same-sex couples even if same-sex marriage is against church creed.
5. Pastors that speak against same-sex marriage may be sued for hate speech and risk fines.
6. It will cost you money.

People, please! They're twisting a lot of things in order to change how you're going to vote. I know that I'm blogging late in the game, but this is something that I need to talk about, or else I'll feel like I've failed myself. Kids aren't being taught about marriage in schools. It's assumed that things like that are left for the home. That's one of the reasons why we have so many unwed mothers and such a high divorce rate.

Churches still have the option to choose who they perform ceremonies for. Maybe they won't be able to say no to a couple on just the basis of orientation, but if they provide other reasons, things that have stopped straight couples as well, things should be fine. 9 times out of 10, gay people don't want to have weddings in a church that won't accept them in the first place.

Adoption agencies. Aren't there enough kids out there that need parents? I've known many straight couples that were terrible parents. What gives a religious agency the right to turn down a couple who wants to love a child that doesn't have parents simply because they don't follow the same creed as that company? Do the Catholic companies turn down non-Catholics? Sounds like a double standard if they don't.

I don't know about you, but my religious school doesn't have married housing. Most religious schools don't have people who are openly gay. Do you know why? The religious community has turned homosexuality into some big unforgiveable sin. There typically are two reactions- kicking people out of churches or forcing them to go through programs that are to "get rid" of the gayness. That annoys me.

As far as being sued for preaching against homosexual marriage, the only instance of that happening was in Canada, a different country entirely with its own constitution and set of rules. The state has no right to speak against what a church preaches, unless it is specificially to incite or otherwise inspire criminal acts.

Finally, costing you money. They cite that different lawsuits will end up taking money out of your pocket. Now, I don't know if more civil suits would mean that more civilians would end up paying more money, but there are going to be more court cases either way.

Part two will come later.

Excerpts from Real Life

Today is the twenty-first day of the worst headache of my life. Considering I've been getting at least three weekly headaches since I was twelve years old (read: 8 years), that says something. To be honest- and let's face it, sometimes a blog is the only place you can feel fully honest- this scares me to death. There are so many things that it could be caused by, so many possibilities. My mother always says that I row the boat before I even get into the water, saying that I worry before it's even an issue, but this is very real. I know full well that they will be checking for tumors, for vascular issues, and for a few other very serious conditions. I've been tested before, but that was 6-7 years ago. A lot can change in that time.

I don't like being unprepared, either. I like to have plans and stratagies. I'm probably the only person at my school with a fire-safe lock box for the important documents, but hey. If there's a fire or earthquake, my important documents are safe. I don't, however, have an "In case of cancer" plan.

To be honest? I'd probably quit school for a little while. I'd get my father to come down here and we'd haul my stuff home. I'd do my treatment at home, maybe a little bit of online schooling through the local community college. Make a few trips to see the really important people in my life.

I'm tired of the pain, too. The pain's been so bad that I just can't do more than one or two things a day. Unfortunately, this is tech week and I can't bring myself to go to class. I can't focus and I can't be around bright lights long enough to actually sit through a class. I went to chapel today and it was torture.

Please. Pray for me. I have an appointment on Monday with the doctor. He's a little limited as to what tests he can do due to certain complications, but hopefully, we'll have an answer soon. Pray that I can have the strength to make it through opening weekend this weekend. Pray that I can stop worrying about all the what ifs and take peace in the knowledge that whatever it is, God has a plan for me.

Still looking for a title, still looking for a name...

I started this story while overseas. The idea just came to me to do a Maltese Falcon-like story with a woman detective. I've just got the first bit done, but I haven't managed to pick a name for the detective, nor settled on a title. I also need to decide why this gentleman has come into the office needing the detective's help. Any comments, critique, or suggestions are very helpful.

~*~*~*~*~

It was evening, mid August, the weather thick and balmy. I was bored, surfing the net. The heat felt like an afghan wrapped around me, light and clingy all at the same time. It snuck up on you, making you feel comfortable for a while, then suddenly making you wish that you could shed your skin like just one more unnecessary layer. As it was, my suit jacket was already draped over the back of my chair and I had unbuttoned the top few buttons of my blouse. My heels lay discarded beneath my desk, and my feet were propped up on the corner of the monstrous oak creation that Elise, my secretary, insisted commanded a greater presence. Frankly, I thought it was a desk, and a pain of one to get up the stairs.

But I'm rambling, aren't it? That's neither here nor there. So here I was, behind my desk. I left the door from my office to the waiting area open, so that I could see anyone come in. Elise was home already, reminding me that as the boss, overtime just meant less personal time and not more money. I had sent her on her way, back to her husband and children. I wasn't ready to go home, to that empty apartment with the ghosts of what could have been still clinging there. Still, there was only so much you could do on email sites and lurking on forums.

Just as I had closed the browser window, he walked in. He wasn't like the usual clients I received, women who needed information or small, nervous men who wanted a wife watched. No, he was tall and narrow, solid all the way through. The tailored suit hung well on him and he seemed as comfortable in that as a regular man would feel in jeans and a favored t-shirt. He walked in with a hand in one pocket and the other slowly removing his sunglasses. Armani, I noted, tucking that away in the mental file marked "How much should I charge this shmuck?"

I remained where I was, choosing to let him react to the scene he walked in on rather than attempting a professional composure now. "Can I help you?" I asked, cool and crisp. He smirked, looking at my stocking-clad toes in the air on the desk. "Yeah, toots," he replied after several beats. "You can get [last name] on the horn and see if he'll come in to talk with a new potential client. If you're real quick about it, I don’t see a reason to tell him that I found you behind his desk, all casual."

In the file marked "Who the hell is this guy?", I dropped "Chauvinist" along with "Rich" and "Gorgeous as sin". Still, more fun could be had before I told him just what was going on. "And who should I tell [last name] is calling?" I asked, keeping my voice at an even keel, showing him that his threat hadn't phased me in the slightest. I peered at him over the top rim of my glasses, studying this man.

"Listen, toots, I don't need you to get nosey. I want to talk to the PI directly, and I won't use a go-between like a tart of a secretary such as yourself." He rested those large hands on the edge of my desk and leaned forward. "Detective Harrison sent me over here himself, and I'm not about-"

"Harrison sent you here?" I interrupted, swinging my feet off the desk and standing. I was nowhere near his height, even bent over as he was, but it still helped. "Well. That's a horse of a different color. Now, normally, I would let you hang yourself on your words, Mr. Whatever your name is, but you must mean business." I slid my heels on carefully then stepped around the desk. "[full name], Private Investigator. Why not tell me your story and I'll see about overlooking that tart comment."

No time to say goodbye- Hello!

All right, then. You've managed to find my blog and thus, my intro post. Very good. Very good indeed. Contained herein will be in process bits of work, happenings in my life, and other nonsense and fluff. My name is Heather. I am an artist. My medium is the English language.